Love shouldn’t cause pain. It should make you feel safe, supported, and free to be yourself.
But for many women across Canada, what begins as love gradually transforms into fear
Intimate Partner Violence doesn’t always begin with physical harm, it frequently starts with subtle red flags that are initially simple to ignore. Maybe it’s the way your partner talks down to you in front of others, or how they suddenly want to control who you talk to or where you go.
Our goal at womenalert.ca is to assist you in identifying these warning indicators as soon as possible because doing so could save a life.
What Is Intimate Partner Violence?
When one individual abuses power and control over another in a romantic or familial relationship, it is known as intimate partner violence. Abuse can be financial, sexual, psychological, emotional, or physical. It goes beyond shouting and bruises. Sometimes it’s about fear, control, and keeping quiet. Unfortunately, it’s more prevalent than most people realize.
According to Statistics Canada (2023), nearly 4 in 10 women have experienced some form of intimate partner violence since the age of 15. When a firearm is present in an abusive home, the risk of a woman being killed increases fivefold (Public Safety Canada, 2022).
10 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
1. Persistent Possession and Jealousy
They check your phone, ask who you are texting, or accuse you of cheating, all of which are signs of jealousy and insecurity. It’s for control, not love.
2. Being cut off from family and friends
They gradually distance themselves from your network of support. You begin to lose contact, cancel plans, and feel more isolated than before.
3. Controlling Behaviour
They make decisions about where you go, what you wear, and how much money you spend. They use control to hold onto power.
4. Emotional and Verbal Abuse
They make you feel unworthy, insult you, or criticize you. You start to question your value and identity.
5. Gaslighting
They make you doubt your memory, distort the facts, and deny things they said or did. You begin to feel as though you are going crazy.
6. Blaming You for Everything
They blamed you for their actions, their anger, and their drinking
7. Threats or Intimidation
They intimidate you into leaving or speaking up by using words, gestures, or even weapons.
8. Financial Control
They steal your money, restrict your access to bank accounts, or force you to make childish requests for cash.
9. Unwanted Sexual Pressure
They coerce or shame you into engaging in unwanted sexual behavior. Fear takes the place of consent.
10. Using weapons or discussing violence
During arguments, they display, discuss, or threaten to use weapons, particularly firearms of all types. The fear is genuine even in the absence of a gunshot.
A Survivor’s Voice: Maya’s Story
“At first, I thought he was just protective. But over time, his love turned into control and control turned into fear.”
At work, Maya met her partner. He always looked out for her and was charming and kind. However, things gradually changed. He began looking through her messages, told her what to wear, and prevented her from seeing friends.
She felt uneasy when he purchased a gun for “protection,” but he claimed she was exaggerating.
The day he waved it during a fight, she realized she was in danger.
Maya found the strength to leave with the support of a local women’s shelter and a coworker. Later, she became aware of Red Flag Laws, which are made possible by Bill C-21 and permit individuals to ask for the temporary removal of firearms from anyone who poses a risk to themselves or others.
“It wasn’t easy to leave,” she says. However, it saved my life. Please get in touch if you’re afraid. There are those who will pay attention.
Why Recognizing These Signs Matters
In Canada, hundreds of women experience violence from a loved one each year. It can make all the difference to recognize the early warning signs.
Families, friends, and communities can take action to take away firearms and stop tragedies before they happen thanks to Red Flag Laws and emergency protection orders. Because every minute counts when danger intensifies.
If You or Someone You Know Needs Help
Emergency (immediate danger): 911
Talk 4 Healing (for Indigenous Women): 1-855-554-HEAL
Kids Help Phone (24/7) — 1-800-668-6868 (youth) and text/chat options.
BC CYAC NetworkVancouver Coastal Health – Forensic Nursing Service (VGH) — confidential medical care and evidence collection (with or without police report) within 7 days of an assault. vsdvalliance.org
Salal Sexual Violence Support Centre (formerly WAVAW) — 24-hour crisis line, hospital accompaniment, counselling. 24-h line: 604-255-6344. NNEDV
Chimo Community Services (Richmond) — STV individual counselling; Mandarin/Cantonese available. 604-279-7077. chimoservices.com
KUU-US Crisis Line (Indigenous-specific, 24/7) — Adults/Elders lines and toll-free access. Hope for Wellness Helpline
Visit womenalert.ca for easy-to-read, plain language guides about red flag laws, women’s safety, and firearm prevention.
Together, We Can Break the Silence
Intimate partner violence can be prevented by raising awareness, identifying warning signs, offering support to survivors, and speaking up when something doesn’t feel right.
Giving women information, safety, and hope is the goal of WOMEN-ALERT’s Red Flag Awareness Initiative 2025. Because no one should have to live in constant fear of the person they care about. Please don’t ignore the signs if you or someone else sees them in your life. Speak up. Reach out. Save a life.